Moving on

My middle school and high school years were a blur. I was bullied in middle school, but by high school nearly all of the bullies were nice to me again. I dyed my hair odd colors, and acted like I was tough in high school, but that was just a persona I created in hopes that people would not be mean to me. For the most part, that worked. Except at home. My stepmother at the time was an alcoholic. Granted, both of my parents were huge alcoholics, but my stepmother was a MEAN drunk. She was always yelling at me for one reason or another, and my Dad wouldn't stand up for me because he didn't want to "rock the boat". They worked the night shift at the same place, and I recall one night in particular when she decided to wake me up at 2:00 in the morning (on a school night) to yell at me about the guy I was dating at the time.

I was sad in high school. My friends either moved away, or went to the alternative school nearby. I remember begging my Dad to let me go to that school. I felt so alone. Often, I would eat lunch alone, or I would find acquaintances to sit with. I just concentrated on my schoolwork, and tried my best in school. I did fairly well. I refused to go on my senior trip. I was not about to pay $100 to hang out with people that I really did not know all that well. I did not even want to go to my graduation. The only reason I did was because my mother really wanted me to go. So I got the cap and gown, only to get a call from my mom the week before stating that she would not be able to attend because her dogs were sick. At this time, she was married, and her husband could easily take care of the sick dogs. I told her that if she did not attend, she would never hear from me again. She had pulled so much crap on me in the past that I was hardly talking to her in the first place. So she came out and attended the ceremony. Here's a funny story: my class was standing out in the back of the school, getting ready to come in, and my sister and mother came up to me asking where they should go. They had bypassed going through the front door somehow... Even though the front door is pretty obvious! lol. As soon as that ceremony was done, I lingered out front of the school for a bit talking to my parents, and getting hugs from various people. Then I got the heck out of there! I got together with a few of my friends from Redmond and Woodinville and celebrated my own way. That was a great night!

I stayed with my Dad for a short period of time before I met a guy that I thought was "the one". I was 18, and he was the same age. I had met him on the internet (my first time meeting a guy through that technology). Oh he was a beautiful specimen, and oh so sweet. We moved in together in a one bedroom apartment far away from my home town. I was so in love. However, I had my own problems that were boiling inside of me. I had not reconciled with my past, and it was running my life. I was unhappy internally, and my emotions showed it. Bless his heart, he put up with me as long as he could, but he left me after nine months. Unfortunately, he left me on my birthday. That was kind of a hit to my heart. I gathered my friends around me to live with me in the apartment that I was left with. My ex had offered to pay half the rent until the lease came up, but I declined. My decisions after that were very poor, and a lot of things happened. However, I will save that for another time.